Friday, November 24, 2006

Wierd to the sixth power

That wee wascally wabbit from Hendersonville Sista Smiff tagged me out of the crowd to fess up about six wierd things about me.

I went to the source - Mrs. WonderDawg - and I knows that she loves me so much as to overlook my wierdness. She is good about stuff like that; plus she never confesses other people's sins (or wierdness) either. However, she still is working on me after 27 years to clean up after myself.

#1) Some people say I snore. I say I'll book a hotel room by myself please with two double beds. When I travel, I like to spread my stuff out and occupy every possible flat surface. I got my gadgets plugged into every available wall socket, and the second bed serves as my extra large nightstand with newspapers, magazines and additional gadgets that don't need a plug. Cleaning up drives the housemaids crazy, but all they have to do is make the bed and leave some fresh towels. They do appreciate that I leave all of my trash in one can.

#2) I can't swim. I've tried, even taking swimming lessons with the kids when they were very young. I just can't coordinate moving my arms and kicking my feet simultaneously. Zero rhythm. Jumping off the diving board at the Sportsplex to pass my test didn't motivate me to re up for the next round of lessons. I'm just not into swallowing water, unless I am assured that I'm in a NO PEE pool.

#3) I have three brothers and three sisters. I'm Kerry, there's a Jerry, Terry and Harry. (I named my son Gary). My sisters names are Lilly, Sally and Emily. (My daughter is Megan - in fact, Terry has a daughter Megan 2, born on the same day, 4 years apart). My little brother Harry is 7'2"; I'm 6'3"... everybody in our family is tall - we owe it to our diet of long grain rice.

#4) When I cough, I sneeze three times as a follow-up. Must be something to do with my head size. I wore the largest football helmet in high school. To this day, I can't wear a cap (as if I wanted to). Mrs. WonderDawg breaks out in belly laughter when I try on a cap at the local sporting goods.

#5) Public restrooms are taboo. I've talked about this before, but I will never sit my booty on a public toilet, especially a gas station. Within reason, I rather take my chances on getting a self inflicted hernia driving thirty miles home than use a public restroom where I have to sit. If I'm desperate, I rather buy a newspaper and find a field behind the Mapco to TCB. But I'm smart; I don't eat Mexican food, especially fajitas with the onions, green peppers and old refried beans. No sir, pass me by.

#6) I collect way too much stuff. Even when I can't afford it, I usually will get the item I'm after in a barter or as a gift. I use to think I would be a car collector, buying the $1500 deal at some backroads car lot. I've owned two 1996 Mustangs, a Pontiac Bonneville convertible, an Oldmobile Cutlass with a hemi and a 1963 Ford Thunderbird for 2 hours. Mrs. WonderDawg made me take it back. After 30,000 LPS, hundreds of CDs, books, newspaper articles, trinkets, schwag, tools, scraps of wood, Legos, gadgets... I keep trying to downsize. I have to! I'm out of room, so I keep trying to downsize and miniaturize at the same time. Right now, I'm fixated on Target Gift Cards to go with my collection of plastic hotel room keys and little bars of soap. Ann Landers would say I'm insecure. The Bible says I'm laying up an inheritance for my children's children. Mrs. WonderDawg says I'm just being Chinese.

Was it wierd enough for you?

Ok, I'm suppose to rat out, I mean tag 6 people. This is like picking six people to join your tribe on Survivor. So in no particular order, I'm picking 3 gals and 3 guys:

Kat Coble
The Brilliant Jag
Amy at Lavendar *Sparkles*
Short & Fat
Michael Ashby aka Mashby
Big Orange Michael


sista smiff said...

You've been hanging out with Chris too long, talking about your, um, "habits." Hee hoo.

I'm the same way about public restrooms.

Thanks for playing along with my little game.

ceeelcee said...

Chris? Who's Chris?

Dude, you can't just drop the "I have a brother who is 7 foot freakin 2!" without a picture! Even if you have to photoshop his face to protect anonymity this I gotta see.

Amy said...

finally got mine up. thanks for the tag :)