I can (and will) drive 55
One foot on the brake and one on the gas, hey!
Well, there's too much traffic, I can't pass, no!
So I tried my best illegal move
A big black and white come and crushed my groove again!
- Sammy Hagar (I Can't Drive 55)
Some time ago on a Thursday (I pleading the Statute of Limitations Amendment), I was feeling pretty good about meeting up with Mrs. WonderDawg for a Thursday lunch. Yep, I was feeling all Promise Keepers like, being all man-like of integrity by a mindset of I love my wife by taking the time out of my day from watching the NFL Network (I work at home) to spend some quality lunch chatter with my lovely wife.
Of course, going out in public requires changing out of the same shorts and T shirt I've been wearing for the last two or three days (I work from home and I'm a gadgeteer). Doing so made me run just a little late, so I barreling down I-440 from I-40 East towards the Harding Mall area. I'm going about 70 MPH on I-440 when I see a blue and white Metro cruiser at the West End exit. Oh crap... My wallet starts throbbing with the ache of $100 down the toilet (or actually $33 for the Bud Stadium, $25 for the GEC, $20 for Metro Schools and the rest somewhere else) for a speeding ticket.
So I'm trying to play it cool, but the officer waves me over - (You looking at me???) - and at the next exit I pull over while he pulls in behind me. Ten minutes must have gone by while the nice officer runs, I'm sure, a license plate check.
I'm asking God for mercy on my finances (according to the prosperity bible in 2 Opinions 8:1: "For God so loveth you, that He cutteth you some slack since thou don't have much money to waste on the things of this world over groceries." I'm paraphrasing and sweating...
So the officer walks over to my window and I humbly offer my sincere apologies as I hand him my license.
Exhibit A - Yes, I did wear buckteeth when I had my license photo taken. Funny then at the DMV, funnier now. I had those girls down at the DMV laughing in tears over my photo - "If 'yo wife don't like it, come on back and we'll get you another one!"
The officer looks at my license and says, "KERRY WOO! How have you been! Listen, I clocked you going 70 in a 55, so slow it down and save a life OK?"
So I take off down the road and to this day, every Thursday when I head to the Mothership BBQ for my weekly lunch driving exactly 55 MPH on I-440 , I can't figure out where I KNOW this officer.
Why am I confessing all of this? First of all, confession is good for the soul.
Embarrassment is equally good for the soul. So is mercy and grace.
Tonight, I finally figured it out - I recruited this officer as a volunteer for the 2001 Nashville ... Promise Keepers (Men of Integrity) conference.
4 comments:
:::LOVE::: that drivers license picture! Mine are horrible horrible horrible.
I have just spit water all over my keyboard. That has to be against some ordinance, but I'm glad you did it.
Speaking of Thursday Mothership, Sista and Mista Smiff are taking Mom-in-law Hazel there on Wednesday. I've never met her, but I know she's a hoot. Plus with your music background, I know you probably have mutual friends.
Y'all come! 11:30.
Oh that is too funny...
That's hilarious!
Post a Comment