tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11387151.post111860470716968421..comments2023-07-27T03:33:52.019-05:00Comments on WonderDawg: On the Waters of the WorldKerry Woohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17519555842802288329noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11387151.post-1122996350622450752005-08-02T10:25:00.000-05:002005-08-02T10:25:00.000-05:00I and my wife attended a Turn Around Weekend 11 ye...I and my wife attended a Turn Around Weekend 11 years ago and I also wanted to extend my condolences and appreciation for such a wonderful Christian man. We greatly benefited from the encouragement and fellowship of that weekend. My sister just sent me a humerous email that I know Walter would enjoy. Here goes...<BR/><BR/>In the year 2005, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and aid, "Once again, the earth has become <BR/>wicked and over-populated and I see the end of all flesh before me.<BR/><BR/>Build another Ark and save two of every living thing along with a few good humans."<BR/><BR/>He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have six months to<BR/>build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights".<BR/><BR/>Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard.... but no ark.<BR/><BR/>"Noah"! , He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"<BR/><BR/>"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah. "But things have changed. I<BR/>needed a building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector<BR/>about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that<BR/>I'll violate the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to<BR/>the Development Appeal Board for a decision. Then the Department of <BR/>Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I argued that the sea would be coming to us, but <BR/>they would hear nothing of it.<BR/><BR/>Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls. But no go!<BR/><BR/>When I started gathering the animals, I got sued by an animal<BR/>rights group. They insisted that I was confining wild animals<BR/>against their will. As well, they argued the accommodation was too <BR/>restrictive and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.<BR/><BR/>Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd<BR/>conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood.<BR/>I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights<BR/>Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my<BR/>building crew.<BR/><BR/>Also, the trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark building experience.<BR/><BR/>To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming<BR/>I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.<BR/><BR/>So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least ten years for me to <BR/>finish this Ark."<BR/><BR/>Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a<BR/>rainbow stretched across the sky.<BR/><BR/>Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean, You're not going to destroy the world?".<BR/><BR/>"No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to it."Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com